My husband took Viagra and I am having a BIG issue. I feel that when he makes
love to me it is because of the pill and not because he loves me... I
might be stupid but I am having big problems accepting it. Age 60, Toronto
In all the excitement men feel over their new-found prowess after taking Viagra, what's often overlooked is the uncertainty their partners often feel. Your concern, far from being stupid, is very common and natural. Let us try to put your mind at ease a bit.
First, it's very important to remember that Viagra doesn't make a man want sex. Your husband doesn't take Viagra and then want to have sex with you; he wants to have sex with you and then takes Viagra to make that possible. Viagra only works on a physical level, not a mental or emotional one. The desire has to be there too.
That said, sometimes men go overboard when they first start taking Viagra, especially if they've suffered from ED for a long time. Finally they are able to get and maintain an erection, and they want to take full advantage of it. They are like a kid who rediscovers a long-forgotten toy; they want to play with it as much as possible. The feelings and needs of their partner can easily get overlooked lost in the excitement.
The best thing to do is share your feelings with him. He probably is expecting you to be as overwhelmed with excitement as he is; he may not realize that any change this dramatic takes some time to adjust to.
Most likely, as the novelty wears off and his confidence returns, you two will get back into a mutually satisfying pattern that meets both of your needs. Some more communication and a little patience will help you both discover that Viagra is only a small part of a loving relationship.
In all the excitement men feel over their new-found prowess after taking Viagra, what's often overlooked is the uncertainty their partners often feel. Your concern, far from being stupid, is very common and natural. Let us try to put your mind at ease a bit.
First, it's very important to remember that Viagra doesn't make a man want sex. Your husband doesn't take Viagra and then want to have sex with you; he wants to have sex with you and then takes Viagra to make that possible. Viagra only works on a physical level, not a mental or emotional one. The desire has to be there too.
That said, sometimes men go overboard when they first start taking Viagra, especially if they've suffered from ED for a long time. Finally they are able to get and maintain an erection, and they want to take full advantage of it. They are like a kid who rediscovers a long-forgotten toy; they want to play with it as much as possible. The feelings and needs of their partner can easily get overlooked lost in the excitement.
The best thing to do is share your feelings with him. He probably is expecting you to be as overwhelmed with excitement as he is; he may not realize that any change this dramatic takes some time to adjust to.
Most likely, as the novelty wears off and his confidence returns, you two will get back into a mutually satisfying pattern that meets both of your needs. Some more communication and a little patience will help you both discover that Viagra is only a small part of a loving relationship.
