August 2012 Archives

Does the thought of spiders give you goosebumps and make your hair stand on end? They might raise more than hair. It sounds kind of scary, but according to a study recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, spider venom (from the Brazilian wandering spider, to be precise) may hold a cure for erectile dysfunction.

The study found that the spider toxin PnTx2-6 improved erectile function in aged rats by increasing the availability of nitric oxide. Researchers think this may be of benefit to older men whose ED does not respond to Viagra, since the toxin uses different chemical channels.

How did researchers come up with the idea of testing spider venom as an ED cure? Well, priapism is a side effect of this particular spider's bite.

People use Botox, the toxin that causes botulism, for cosmetic procedures, so this doesn't seem much different. If it had to be administered by spider bite, that might be another story.

OK, if you cringed at the story about the guy who nearly lost his penis to a metal ring and a combination of poor judgment and erectile dysfunction drugs, then you might want to stop reading now, because this is going to get ugly. And if you've ever taken or considered taking "herbal Viagra" or "male supplements" you're guaranteed to think twice after hearing this tale of terror.

Adrian Carter, the Texas man who is the plaintiff in a lawsuit against Virilis Pro, claims he bought a packet of the supplement in a Houston gas station (on the cashier's recommendation), then later suffered horrific side effects. He headed to a motel to get his groove on with his date, but after taking the pills and engaging in intercourse, the evening turned into a scene out of Hellraiser.

His penis and scrotum swelled up and reportedly "blood squirt(ed) out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror in the hotel room)."

It gets worse.

After he went to the emergency room, doctors had to "deglove" the skin off his penis because it was so swollen and the urethra had become separated. Now he has to pee through a catheter and his organ is so traumatized, he may never be able to get an erection again.

This isn't just your penis on drugs - this is your penis on bath salts. Considering he bought the stuff in a gas station, that seems like a good comparison. Who knows what's in it?

Virilis is supposedly "all natural" and its makers claim it has no side effects. In fairness, I've never heard of anything that has caused that sort of extreme response. It doesn't seem like an allergic reaction - that would affect the whole body and not just the penis. And in embarrassing situations like this, sometimes people aren't totally honest with their doctors about extreme sex play - but even so, I can't imagine what he could have been doing that could cause that sort of damage.

Whatever side effects Viagra may have, it's never caused anyone's penis to swell up like a sausage splitting its casing. Safer to stick with FDA approved medications instead, and listen to your doctor, not a gas station clerk  pushing a dodgy male enhancement formula.

Republicans - they just can't seem to stay out of your bedroom, or your special "man cave", or that dark corner of the basement, or wherever it is you go to watch internet porn and rub one out.

Patrick Trueman, president of Morality in Media and an anti-porn crusader, asserts that early access to porn is making young men sexually dysfunctional by the time they reach their 20's.

"It's the Viagra problem for guys in their 20s," Trueman said. Young males are now spending "10 to 12 years looking at porn on the Internet and masturbating to it, so when they are getting married, they are dysfunctional sexually because their brain maps are changed. They enjoy what they've been doing for 10 to 12 years. Normal sex is not something that gets them excited."

If that's the case, then Viagra isn't going to be the fix. They'll just take Viagra, then go watch porn and whack off 5 times as long.

Republicans, you're so cute when you get all worked up over restricting people's sexual freedoms. I love that Romney's campaign promised he would "vigorously" prosecute pornographers if elected president. Go get 'em, Mitt.

We have to preface this post with a warning: Do not try this at home, and don't read any further if you're sensitive to penile trauma stories.

So a Laguna Beach couple flags down a police officer, to report a man who had been sitting alone in his vehicle overnight. They had heard moaning earlier, and now he was laying still, with the windows rolled up, in very hot weather. They thought he was dead.

He was in bad shape, passed out and dehydrated, and probably wanted to die - of embarrassment. Once the officer coaxed him out of the car it became apparent he had an ice bag covering his privates. Under that, he was wearing a 2-inch metal cock ring that he couldn't remove, and it was acting like a tourniquet on his dick

A 2-inch ring is a pretty standard size. It can prolong erection by slowing the flow of blood out of the penis. When the dick becomes flaccid, it slips off easily. That's why his next move was not the greatest idea: taking "Superman" Viagra - which is apparently a mix of Cialis and Viagra, making the effects both powerful and long-lasting. How long? At least three days, which was how long ago he had taken the drugs.

The ring biting into his flesh was just prolonging the agony, because blood flowing into his member through the arteries was unable to flow out through the veins, which are closer to the surface and thereby constricted by the ring squeezed around the shaft.

Of course, this is not the first time a guy has found himself in this pickle - the less fortunate have had to have rings removed by sawing or soldering through the metal. When the fire department suggested to our hero that he might be freed by draining the blood from his engorged manhood with a large needle, he became motivated to try to remove it on his own, and managed to slip it off with the help of some KY and head off to the hospital.

So we don't have to tell you this, but for the love of god, don't try this at home.

Looking for natural ways to bolster your male prowess and fertility? Here's some advice: Go nuts! That's what health researchers are saying - certain tree nuts can ward off prostate cancer, improve sperm health, and even combat erectile dysfunction.

In a 12-week study, men were asked to eat a handful of walnuts (about 2 oz.) daily. At the end of the study, their sperm was found to be healthier than volunteers whose diet did not include walnuts. The semen of those men who consumed walnuts showed a greater concentration of sperm, greater percentage live sperm, better sperm motility, and fewer sperm that were misshapen or had chromosomal abnormalities.

Researchers believe the polyunsaturated fats in walnuts are the effective component. Walnuts are high in linoleic acid and omega-3 fatty acids.

A diet rich in walnuts may possibly shrink or slow the growth of prostate cancer, an effect also credited to the nuts' fatty acids and antioxidants.

If you need some help in the ED department, try some pistachios. A study found that a daily serving of the green nuts (3.5 oz.) for 3 weeks improved the erectile function for men with ED - as well as improving their lipid profile, reducing bad cholesterol levels and raising good cholesterol levels. Researchers say that pistachios are rich in arginine, an amino acid that maintains flexibility in blood vessels, and can boost nitric oxide levels.

So,next time you're packing your lunch, don't forget to grab your nuts.

Viagra has been associated with a tragic death, with news that Real World star Joey Kovar, 29, died August 17 from an apparent overdose of cocaine and Viagra, mixed with alcohol.

Kovar showed up at the home of Stacey Achertof, a female friend, already under the influence of cocaine and alcohol. He asked her to drive him to another location to get more coke. She refused and asked him to stay at her place. He popped some Viagra, and the two fooled around a bit, but Stacey fell asleep.

She awoke early in the morning to find Kovar bleeding from the nose and ears. Cause of death is pending toxicology and autopsy results, but investigators believe he suffered an aneurysm brought on by the combination of drugs.

I don't know what role alcohol might play in this death, other than clouding Kovar's judgment, but cocaine and Viagra both affect blood circulation and blood vessels, so it's conceivable the combination could result in an aneurysm.

Overdoses of Viagra are rare, and are rarely fatal, but the drug has been linked to a few deaths of younger users. Taking Viagra with street drugs like cocaine or ecstasy is especially risky.

We like to think of Viagra as bringing happiness and satisfaction to its users, and in the case of some medical applications of sildenafil, actually saving lives. But on rare occasions it can play a part in a tragedy.

Such is the sad tale of young Englishman James Andrews, 24, who being depressed and despondent after breaking up with his girlfriend of six weeks, lay down in front of a train. Following an inquest his death was recently ruled a suicide.

He killed himself on Valentines Day. His Twitter messages before the suicide suggest that he had been depressed for months, previous to this relationship, but maybe the breakup pushed him over the edge.

A few days before the incident, the couple had an argument about whether Andrews had lied to his girlfriend about taking Viagra earlier in their relationship. I guess you can't say without knowing the context, but that doesn't necessarily seem like it should be a dealbreaker. Nevertheless, the girl broke things off and returned a gift he'd recently sent. When she tried to contact him later at his hotel, it was too late.

Usually when I take Viagra, at some point I feel kind of like like I'm getting a hot flash, and sometimes I wake up during the night and the sheets are soaked with my sweat. What's going on?

This isn't necessarily a sign that you're going through male menopause.

The Viagra definitely could be responsible for those types of symptoms. Viagra causes blood vessels to dilate, and although it is primarily targeted to affect blood vessels in the penis, it can affect blood vessels in other parts of the body - hence the facial flushing, stuffy noses, and headaches that can sometimes accompany use of the drug.

Viagra probably doesn't actually increase your core body temperature, but it does make your body feel hotter, and makes you radiate more body heat, because more of your blood is flowing to the surface of your skin. Alcohol does the same thing, which is why taking a shot of alcohol can make you feel warmer when you're in the cold, but if you're out in the elements and really at risk for hypothermia, it's a bad idea, because it will make you lose body heat.

It's unlikely that you'd take Viagra while at risk for hypothermia, but jf you're ever thinking about it - don't.

The night sweats - those can be a side effect of Viagra as well. Some men who have taken Viagra in studies have reported excessive perspiration or night sweats.These symptoms are most likely harmless, but if they are troubling to you, talk to your doctor and let him or her know what is going on.

Big Pharma is a cutthroat business. Companies will do whatever they can to get a leg up. But Pfizer? Bribery? We're a little disappointed in you.

Well, I guess you could just call it a rewards club, and Pfizer isn't admitting or denying any of the charges, but they will pony up over $60 million in fines for allegedly bribing foreign doctors and clinicians with gifts and cash in return for prescribing their drugs.

Supposedly it worked like this: in China, doctors earned "rewards points" each time they prescribed Pfizer's medications, which they could trade in for prizes like tea sets and cell phones. This goes above and beyond the traditional pharma swag - and I'm sure it wasn't branded - that would make it traceable. In fact, they typically used a subsidiary to run the operation.

In some countries, like Croatia, the alleged payoffs came in the form of cash and dinners out, which got billed in the books under travel and business expenses.

In a way, I wouldn't blame them. Corruption is a way of life in some countries. Maybe they were just playing by the local rules. You know - when in Rome.... And chances are some of their competitors are doing the same thing. They're not the first American pharma company to be caught doing this, and I'm sure they won't be the last.

If you're a fan of the CBS series "Parks and Recreation", then you're already acquainted with the awesomeness of Ron Swanson, a.k.a. Nick Offerman. Nick Offerman is just about as much of a badass in real life as his alter-ego Swanson is on screen, and he's got photographic proof to back it up. Here's a man who embodies the phrase "big swinging dick".

Decades ago, when the young Offerman was launching his acting career, he was was told he would be typecast as working class fellas: plumbers, bus drivers, farmers and the like. His response? " My response to being told I was gonna be playing bus drivers: Oh yeah? Have you seen my dick?' " Offerman had a 3/4 body photograph of himself taken with a prosthetic penis as big as his arm sticking out of his fly.

Well, that's one way to get the attention of casting agents. It did get him parts in a couple of plays. Seems like it could have landed him a contract as a Viagra spokesman.

These days, his acting prowess is undebatable.

Coincidentally, the owner of the world's largest penis, Jonah Falcon, is also an actor, but has never shown his, uh, talent in the same manner as Offerman.

There have been a lot of climactic and inspiring moments in the Summer Olympics so far...Michael Phelps becoming the most decorated Olympian ever. Double amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius completing the semifinals for the men's 400m...hurdler Liu Xiang refusing to let a crippling injury stop him from crossing the finish line. But have you seen all of these climaxes? Check out these Olympic images, which could join the vast body of "Blank-face" or O face quizzes.

While we're at it, here's an interesting and somewhat suggestive sequence from a fencing event:  In challenging the scoring for one of the touches, a South Korean fencer insisted on repeatedly jabbing himself in the butt with his opponent's foil. Again, and again, and again. At some point you have to question if he was kind of asking for it.

For some reason this reminds us of an "Olympics" story from several years back, apparently before Viagra was added to the list of banned substances. Heard of "winning by a nose"? How about winning by a different protuberence?

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Most people think William Shakespeare wrote that, but it was actually William Congreve (he also penned the famous and often misquoted phrase "Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast," usually attributed to Shakespeare as well).

If you think one woman scorned is bad, how about five? And that's what you get for having six wives.

Nigerian businessman Uroko Onoja was having sex with one wife when the other five wives barged in and demanded some attention too. Seems they had been plotting together when hubby came rolling in from a late night at the bar and headed into the bedroom of his youngest wife to get some nookie.

Wives number one through five confronted him and compelled the man to have sex with each of  them, one after another, in a marathon session. Onoja made it to wife number four, then ran out of steam. For good. As in, he died.

According to wife six, the others took off after Onoja stopped breathing. Two of the women have been charged with his death.

So, do you think Viagra could have saved Onoja? Or was it responsible for his demise? I mean, if he was able to have intercourse with four women (or even five if he had sex with the first wife before being interrupted) he probably had some help.

This sounds like it could be a mashup between that story about a guy who was kept captive and fed Viagra so he could be used as a sex slave, and the guy who died after consuming a massive amount of Viagra so he could win a dare to have a 12-hour sex marathon with two women.

Of course, this is all speculation. There's been no mention that Viagra or any other drugs were involved.

Is Viagra an unofficial sponsor of the Summer Olympics and Paralympics? Why ever would you think that? Maybe the fact that the events' official mascots look like two giant walking penises.

Wenlock and Mandeville are the Games' official mascots, and they are supposed to be two drops of steel. OK...whatever. Nobody seems to know what drops of steel have to do with the Olympics. And really, they look like penises. Or maybe giant sentient alien sperm. The phallic resemblance is pretty undeniable, with their bulbous heads, single eye, and stumpy legs that are vaguely scrotal.

Thanks to the creatures' suggestiveness - not to mention their general scariness level - some have recommended keeping them away from children. Also, don't tell the kids that London's Olympic 2012 logo is really an abstract representation of Lisa Simpson giving Bart head.